It's not fair to make him pay for things he didn't do and probably will never do but my truth is my fear, that instead of bliss & happily ever after, our smiles, trips, I love you's, and nights cuddling are only the calm before the storm...the beginning of the END**
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The problem here is me...
The picture explains it all, well, my fear at least when I think of me and him and where we are now. My wish is to simply love him and let him love me with no questions asked or ifs, ands or buts clouding my mind of things that happened to others and I fear will happen to us. He loves me, that I do know. He adores me with every bone, breath in him and our love, what we have now, is what I've always wanted from him and now that I have his undivided attention, his affection, love, utmost respect and his heart. I fear that the demons that haunted and destroyed the relationships of others once close to us, will do the same and succeed with us. We aren't the same as those people, our love is much deeper, but our situation is the same....3hrs apart, he's at school, i'm home and well one question is in the back of my head taunting me with every memory we make, smile he puts on my face & that is, WHAT MAKES US SO DIFFERENT??? We lead two different lives now; me in the professional world & him the college life, and we've had our share of hard times too but never, never deceit & that kind of lustful betrayal. I've never had a boyfriend cheat on me and I fear that our love & our situation is in a place to be just like everyone elses was; apart, heartbroken, and alone.