Thursday, December 31, 2009

A GREAT love lost...goodbye 2009*

This New Years Eve is a bittersweet one filled with smiles and invisible tears, as my heart grows more and more reluctant to open up to the new unknown, 2010. The last 364 days have been a complete whirlwind of happy times, better times, fun times and adventurous times!! In short, 2009 was the year that I actually had a real life love affair with. Now it's time to say goodbye and like the rest of them, this love affair too, is coming to an end, never to return again...BUT i'm not sad about this one....this decade has made it's impact. I'm eternally grateful for what the last 10years has bought me, taught me and steered me from. I was a girl of 12years going into year 2000, i'm a woman now going into 2010 with independence, self assurance, worldly knowledge, and Bachelors degree in tow. I SMILE about that because with all the last 10years has bought me, it has still ONLY introduced me to the journey that will reveal my destiny. Sent me off with a bang, 2009 was the truth!!! The seventh grader that I started the decade as had no idea what would lay much has occured:

1. United States entered 2 wars
2. Tuesday September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks
3. I lost numerous friends and cousins to violence, 3 grandparents to ailments, and motherhood ended before it started
4. Thursday June 2, 2005 I became a high school graduate
5. August 2005 I began college....University of Maryland Eastern Shore
6. February 2006 I met the love of my life
7. April 2007 I lost my beloved Grandmother Edna to Alzheimers & Breast Cancer
8. June 2007 experienced the most horrible breakup ever for me anyway
9. October 2007 I lost my Grandfather John Thomas Bennett
10. December 2007 I was initiated into the Alpha Phi Sigma Criminal Justice Honor Society
11. March 2008 My other grandfather William Crawford passed of kidney failure
12. November 2008 I was finally eligible to vote in my first Presidential Election and had the option to vote for a black man
13. December 2008 I turned 21...a woman at last
14. January 2009 President-Elect Barack Obama was inaugurated as the first African American President of the United States of America and I was there in the FREEZING COLD
15. April 2009 I finally got to visit the Motown Hitsville studios in Detroit Michigan
17. June 2009 my first concert @ Madison Square pressed*** THE KING OF POP/ENTERTAINMENT MICHAEL JACKSON DIES...never WANTED to see the day!!!
18. July-August 2009 DISNEY WORLD!!! BEST vacay ever!!!

19. August 2009-I started my first job out of college and couldn't be HAPPIER!!!
20. December 2009-I had the best birthday party i'd ever been too....22 BABY!!!!
21. December 2009-I'm STILL in and experiencing LOVE***


Monday, December 28, 2009

Planning BIG**

OMG!!!! I'm a real fiend for the color pink. I like for everything I buy to represent me and well in my room everything is PINK* I love Barbie too even though there is a real shortage of BLACK BARBIE merchandise on the market. Anywho, I was thinking I wonder if there is a barbie themed hotel room anywhere and so I googled it....I'll be damned if one didn't pop up!!!! The Palms Hotel & Casino in Vegas has a Barbie Suite in their fantasy tower!!!! Sooo, while it will likely not be when I go to Vegas this time, I will certainly be planning a stay in the Barbie suite...maybe my 25th birthday when I wild the hell out in various cities. Idk though, I may just go ahead and stay there for a night or two when I go in March* Checkout the pics, cute right????

Friday, December 25, 2009

Kindness inspires kindness....

It being Christmas inspired me to write this post. The other night after partying, my girls and I headed to IHOP. When we got there, there was a man asking people if he could wash their windows in exchange for a few dollars to buy some coffee and maybe something to eat. Of course he asked my friends and I and we all turned him down as we headed into the warm restaurant to order our food without a care in the world. I will be honest and say that I told the man "I am getting ready to eat with the money that I have."

He answered with "Ok, thank you and have a goodnight." I turned to continue walking inside and in that instant conviction fell on my heart. I DID have it to give to that man and here I was about to leave him out in the cold, Christmas week when all he wanted was warmth and something to put in his stomach. I couldn't live with the answer I gave him so I made sure to turn around and correct the situation by giving him a few dollars, apologizing and telling him to have a Merry Christmas and a goodnight.

As I am inside having great conversation, being warmed by my hot chocolate and filling my belly my meal of sirloin tips, hash browns and pancakes, my mind began to wonder and feel further remorse for the way I initially handled the situation with the man outside. The man came back in to thank me again and tell me he'd washed my windows anyway. I thanked him.

I tell that story to reiterate the title of this post that kindness inspires kindness. Imagine what the world would be like if we all checked ourselves and spent our days trying to be a blessing to others as opposed to judging, condemning, and avoiding those that seem to just be wondering through life.

EVERYONE has a story!!!!!!!!! NOONE says I want to grow up and be addicted to drugs, homeless, abused, live a life a crime, etc. AND it is not for us to judge those fighting such struggles in their lives.....WITH THAT,
decide to be a blessing to someone else by coming out of yourself every now and then and commit a random act of kindness. It doesn't have to be monetary but it could be an encouraging word, a warm smile, honesty, a hug.....HAPPY HOLIDAYS BLOGGERS!!!!! LOVE YOU!!!

OKAY SO I'M PRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Wednesday, December 23, 2009


just one or all of the 5 senses you were born with were suddenly taken away from you? Say, you suddenly couldn't feel the embrace of the love of your life or touch, caress them much like you had before. How about not being able to hear your favorite songs, the ones you often sing along to, even though you remember what they sound like...It's the holidays, so what if all of a sudden on Christmas you chew and swallow mama's honey ham, yams, mac & cheese, and famous collard greens but you could no longer taste the flavors you grew to love as a youngin' and expect to indulge in during the holidays? Once more what if you couldn't smell when that fine specimen of a man walked through, wearing Polo's Blue cologne (one of my faves), or look in the mirror and see yourself age (something we all take for granted)?????
We take life's little things for granted, things like the 5 senses. I thought I'd see what you all thought of this because two years ago, I was confronted with these questions. What would I do if it happened to me? How would I cope? How would life change?
You can't miss what you haven't had, but to be born with your senses and become acustomed to treading through life with them and have them taken has to be a scary least I imagine it could be, I could be wrong.
In 2007, I had an earache that I assumed would just go away partly because of my ignorance to ear aches and reluctance to think it was anything of any significance wrong with my ear. However, as the days went by, the pain got worse and worse and after about a week the whole right side of my head began to ache with intensity, and my hearing was almost non-existent on that side. I would talk louder than needed because I couldn't hear myself the way I was used too...It'd effect me when I turned my head, talked, ate, slept or attempted, pretty much whatever I tried to do!! So, with my parents out of state I said "i'm not going to the hospital, imma ask the pharmacy what to do." I did that and THANK GOD there was a nurse there who looked @ my ear and directed me to go straight to the Emergency room. I went, and then the doctor who saw me told me I had a severe case of swimmers ear and that my ear had started closing as a result of being swollen. He gave me an antibiotic and sent me on my way. IT WAS A SCARY SITUATION!!!!
I was thankful it was just an ear infection that could be fixed with antibiotic BUT up until that point I was terrified that something else was going on and I was slowly losing my hearing...remember, I couldn't hear anything on that side. I now make sure to be thankful for EVERYTHING even just waking up in the morning and the abilities to taste, hear, smell, touch and see.

Really though, if you thought or knew you were losing one of your 5 senses, how would react, cope, move on????

The CrackBerry blues***

OMG, I swore I would not become a CrackBerry addict but clearly I have eaten those words. Yesterday, there was a outage of blackberry internet services and I lie to you not, I couldn't function. I don't know if it was having a cell phone that I could only text and use for phone calls (how 90s) or if it was because I couldn't twitter, facebook, instant message, bbm, or download new Blackberry Apps!!!!!!!!! LMAO for some reason I was feenin' to tweet and couldn't for the life of me understand why noone was returning my bbm messages....So yes, the harshness of my reality has been fully realized!!!!

Hello. My name is Tora and I'm a CrackBerry addict (standing up shamefully, headdown, side eye*)

LOL, was anyone else's Black/CrackBerry out yesterday or lastnight....GOD bless you and were you as traumatized as I was....really tho, I need help, clearly!!!


So, whose been watching the Bad Girls Club??? I haven't watched since big Tenisha was on there...remember her?? Yea, that was my favorite season thus far and the one after. What happened last night??? Is it OnDemand???

My Co-worker bought me this for Christmas....cute! Right?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

You can call me gullible, naive, or whatever you want. I know who I am so that doesn't bother me. However, as I get older, it is getting harder and harder for me to wholeheartedly trust people OR genuinely LIKE people. I'm genuine, blunt, honest and sometimes I can get under your skin with it but YOU WILL know what I think about you, truthfully. If I don't like you I won't interact with you. Why can't everyone be like this? Why does everyone have a hidden agenda? Why is it always about what you can do for them or how they can gain something from you for relationships (whatever kind) to be of any kind of substance? How come it seems EVERYONE has multiple personalities and you never really know them....

I'm just really finding it hard to trust people nowadays...or give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't like to keep people at an arms distance or censor myself with them as a result of their underhanded ways. I just want to be me BUT that's difficult when your friends aren't your friends, the person you love doesn't love you, someone is working full time, behind your back to sabotage you....ugh!!! It's really becoming a chore to notice the good in people before, first, noticing their faults. It's really becoming hard to value "FRIENDSHIPS" because they aren't that at all.

But one thing mommy taught me is that "when someone shows you who they really are, take that for exactly what it is, who they are" I can say that has allowed me to just move on in alot of instances. It bothers some, because they can't, for the life of them understand how I seemed so unphased and really don't care about certain things. Truth is I don't. So what, a friendship dissolves, they'll be others, so what you lose a job you're still LIVING. I always think of the more important things in life. Well, the things that are important to me anyway. I'm happy, healthy, accepted and loved by my family and have TWO very loyal, genuine, loving best friends. I've been blessed with education....none of those are things that can be taken away.
Therefore, I live for those things...not people, friends, a relationship, acceptance from everyone else, those that @ the end of the day don't matter.

I had to write this blog as a way of purging so to speak because PEOPLE can drive you crazy or @ least THINK they are. If you know me and are reading this....IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, STAY YOUR DISTANCE. I'VE NEVER BEEN ONE TO THRIVE OFF OF FRIENDSHIP & CAN GIVE A SH!T IF YOU LIKE ME!!! I've been known to trust up front, not taking it away until I have a reason to but to hell with that....

If you like my blog then feel free to comment, follow and make sure I check yours out too. If you know me or follow me on twitter then feel free to comment on there or speak when you see me. I'm a really nice person unless given a reason to showcase another attitude...BUT FOR THE SAKE OF TIME & ENERGY KEEP YOUR SH!T MOVING IF YOUR MOTIVES & THOUGHTS AREN'T POSITIVE!!!!!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

She that has a purpose....

shall fulfill it and find everlasting success!! I'm still on this whole what am I supposed to do kick and it it' bugging me more lately. As society would have it we're to go to college, graduate, land a job and work for our happiness, success and fortunes. I'm not against that but the word happy isn't in that equation. That's what I want more than anything. I want a life that I work and not the other way around. I went to college, graduated in 4years, landed the job and am quite satisfied with the amount of money I am making. Something is still missing the complete happiness in the matter. I haven't quite achieved that yet, but as of recently, I'm working on it. College graduation bought on some deep thought about life. I ask myself questions everyday like; Am I doing what i'm supposed to be doing now? Socializing with who I should be socializing with now? What does the future have for me?

There are things that are very important to me in life and while a career is one of them work isn't. I don't want my career to be a job, chore or WORK. I want to work my circumstances, life, and career. My loved ones are important to me, memories are more important to me. The idea I once had about the life I thought I wanted is still mixed in with what I want now but I realize more and more that some of those things I wanted are things that don't necessarily nurture the me inside of me. I was born, raised and still live in the Washington, DC area but this is not where I see me starting and raising a family but who knows. I wish it was easier, like if someone could just give me a plane ticket and keys to a condo on the beach in Malibu, then gave me my voice recorder, pen and paper and told me I was working at the Los Angeles Times a freelance writer, the black Carrie Bradshaw! LOL!!

LOL, it may seem funny but I kinda do still want the rewarding career of an Attorney, the idea of 3 more years of school doesn't make me cringe but I'd like to be an attorney who practiced if she wanted to. I would rather spend my days getting to know people, hearing their stories, documenting them, capturing the moments with timeless photos! I want to live life and have a career that I can thrive in while doing that!!! That's why I think that journalism may be for me. Who knows, there are lawyers in EVERY field!!


New Years Resolution....2010 BOUND

2009 is ending and BELIEVE I am sad about that but blessed and happy to be embarking upon 2010. Yea, I love 2009!!! I plan to do things bigger in 2010 though. I have a strong feeling of optimism about 2010 that I haven't felt about anything'll be the year my dream really take flight!!! So as I said on (Sunshine's blog), here are my New Years Resolution:

1. Pay off this student loan
2. TRAVEL!! TRAVEL!! TRAVEL!! (Dominican Republic in September)
3. Start building my "first condo/house" account
4. Enroll in retirement plan
5. Get back door fixed on my truck
6. Buy my new luxury barbie wheels LOL, something glam i'll buy for myself. I'm thinking
7. Best shape of my life for the fight in Vegas or wherever in March!!!!
8. Continue to deplete my life of as many unnecessary stress factors as possible
stress ages and causes health problems. I'm too young and my future is too promising for
9. Take my LSAT classes
10. Finally pickup on some of the things I enjoyed when I was a little girl: horseback riding,
dance, pottery, reading (joining a book club), piano, women's group
11. Volunteer more in the community
12. HAVE FUN, HAVE FUN, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is this one regret....

that I have and no matter how much time passes by it still finds away to come back and haunt me with questions of what if, further ripping into my memory or bringing to realization the life that wouldve been, the person that couldve been and the pain i'll have forever as a result of the plan I destroyed.

It's not often, but every now and then, this memory resurfaces, the ample possibilities (positive & negative) resurface, and I think would it have really been THAT bad? This year is the third year, 3rd anniversary of the death of an unborn.

Life is GOD's precious gift to us and sometimes while matriculating through it's wonders, we drop the ball with no sign of what direction it'll come from. So, there it is, the one regret I'll always have.........



Here is the link:

Monday, December 14, 2009

What the heck am I going to do for NYE????? Any suggestions bloggers????? My plans totally fell through and I don't have a that leads me, what are you all planning to do???

LOL, I don't wanna go to a club, go-gos are so not my steelo and most IMPORTANLY I prefer to party with the younger, more urban "hip hop" crowd LMAO!!!


A Family Dynasty....

Did anyone happen to watch the Jack5ons A Family Dynasty lastnight on A&E? I did, before watching the Kardashians and it was interesting to see the brothers and get an inside look on their lives/careers or lack thereof.
So, of course they remembered Michael and shared what he meant to them as a brother and co-worker, but now they are trying to go on with the group without Michael and it's just DRAMA!! Everyone wants to be the star and it's not happening. Jackie is the more laid back cooler big brother but because of his position wants to be the boss, Tito is Joe Jr. all the way, Jermaine is a diva or divo is you will, and Marlon is very interesting with his black glasses. Randy was nowhere to be found and that could be for a number of reasons, maybe he and Jermaine aren't on speaking terms since they have kids by the same woman. It happened years ago, but i'm just sayin.....

One thing is for sure I think I know why Michael left the group....he was the star and wanted to grow, but with his brothers everyone wanted to be the star and there was no room for what Michael had coming with them. As for the rest of the family, the mother was shown, no sign of Joe and the kids are all light. I guess we see Michael wasn't the only one to like his women fair complected.

I don't know how far this show will go but I found it interesting yet hard to follow one the Kardashians premier came on @ 10.....Jermaine is handsome though. I ALWAYS wonder what Michael Jackson would have looked like as an older man has his skin never lightened and he never had the surgeries. Am I the only one?

Keeping Up....

with the Kardashians season 4 premiered last night and anyone who knows me, knows that I was watching. I really admire there big, blended family...I've always wanted alot of brothers and sisters!! Anywho, so the season started and it of course talked about Kourtney's pregnancy, Kim & Reggie, and Klomar (so lame). I cannot understand, why, for the life of me, these girls cannot keep anything private and share so much but on the other hand I can't help but to watch, they're entertaining!!!

Did anyone else watch the Kardashians last night? I admit I got a little sad when Kim was talking about Reggie because, for some reason, I relate to her situation so much!!! Anyway...........

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


OMG I hate the winter but it gets me hype for the spring and summer!! I'm definitely breakin out the big guns lol for the upcoming warm seasons!! See, the secret is to work you ass out til you are dog tired in the winter to get that bikini/mini dress body for the spring and winter! I can't wait!!! I'm so hype, I might even have my drop top this year, especially if all works out here on the job but i'm claiming that situation!!!

I got dreams and plans for days!!! There isn't a blueprint out that illustrates this dolls stunt appeal*** I'm sorry blogfamily...I'm real high on life right now but hopefully some of these dry, smile-less people will catch contact!!!!!!


My favorite singer and My fave Saggi besides ME!!!!

It's no secret that December or the saggitarius sign is the sign of greatness!!!!! The first week of December is loaded with awesome star-studded birthdays other then my own. We all know that Jay-Z (my other favorite saggitarius) turned the BIG 40 this past Friday. Shaun Carter did it up Hov style in the Dominican Republic as a courtesy of Mrs. Beyonce Carter in a twenties themed affair. That gives me an idea for next year, I love the "Roaring Twenties" the era was so glam which totally explains the reason for Bey selecting that theme...I mean it's Shaun and Beyonce Carter! What else would they do? Anywho, they're my favorite couple so here's a "Happy Belated Birthday to Mr. Carter!!"

Don't they look fab...LOL i'm too much for myself this morning, but yes!!! LOVE THEM!!!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

In my head....

I've always been a Disney Princess LOL which is why my wedding, whenever that day shall come, will be a Disney Winter Wonderland-Fairy Tale come true. So, yea...I'm 22 and very damn excited to see Disney's new movie The Princess and the Frog even though, yes, I am using my 6year old sister as reason for me to see the movie....DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!
I went to Disney World this past summer and I remember there being a little girl, a little black girl, in the park mad because none of the Disney Princesses looked like her.
As beautiful as the princesses have always been it is about time there be an African American
Disney Princess!!!!! I'm so happy, happy and pressed to see this movie!!!!!!! I wonder if the Obama girls are going to see it????
So, I will start submitting articles to The Washington Post on whatever it is I feel like writing on. I figure that is it a modest start to see if this journalism thing is for me. I wonder if one of my submissions will ever be published in the local paper? That would be so exciting and TRUST my blog family will know about it ASAP!!!!!

So, Who's HOTTER!!!

Ok, so it's been almost a year since Chris Breezy and Rihanna's "incident" and now they both have albums, are promoting them and well, in short, back on the grind....HOWEVER, it seems to me, I COULD BE WRONG, that C.B came out of this thing on top!!!! I mean he did take his punishment like a man but he is on the NEW Vibe cover, currently touring, IDK about other cities but he was just @ D.C's Ibiza nightclub last Friday, and his new album is kinda hott....which brings me to my next question, HAS ANYONE HEARD "R" OR "RATED R" whatever his ex-girlfriend's album is called. Have you heard it? What do you think?

I just wanna know what you all think, I'm not feelin the chik, personally, ever since she did that wack ass interview RIGHT BEFORE her album was released, you know the one she did when she claimed he busted her ish all up just cause she kept asking him the same question over and over. Anywho, If you heard the album, let me know what's good with it........
With the new year coming, the bestii & I have been planning some getaways!!!! I need to have Vegas in my life early spring, I need club Dreamz and the rest of Atlanta to give me more life, late spring, and I need to act a damn fool in Miami @ Wet Willies gettin IT in with some random latin hottie and engaging in some much needed fun in the sun and upscale shopping!!! Lastly, imma need to make a pit stop somewhere abroad to expand my horizons as well....but we've yet to decide where that international location will be. I favor a luxorious spa resort on the Turks & Caicos islands myself. This year exposed the beauties of life, the peaks of happiness and the some of the unfortunate pits of sadness BUT i'm looking to top it all in 2010!!!!!!
I'm one of those girly girls that lives for lipgloss, mascara, handbags, and everything else fab but just as I can wear my pumps to the VIP spot so can I @ the hottest sporting events AND understand what's going, the bestii's and I are taking to Vegas in March for the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight!!!! While, the location of the fight hasn't been confirmed to be Las Vegas, we all know that to be the fighting mecca of the world!!! So, yea, i'm crossing my fingers for Vegas to be the spot...cause we are definitely in the building as close to the ring as we can get. I'm sparing NO ends for this trip!!! LOL, this will be one that the cheap friends will have to sit out on. Anywho....I'm so excited!! I've always wanted to go to Vegas to see a boxing match.....THIS WOULD BE A DREAM COME TRUE ON OVERLOAD***
BLOG LOVELIES....What are you looking forward to in 2010??? What is a MUST-DO for you in the upcoming year??????

Monday, December 7, 2009

I'M 22 TODAY!!!

I'm so happy today is my birthday, finally 22 and I feel so blessed to see yet another birthday. Today is wonderful thus far (even though i'm @ work), the year has been great and my birthday weekend was FABULOUS!!!!!! I had a blast!!! I had a joint birthday party for my dad and I @ DC's Posh Lounge on 11th street....FAB, FAB, FAB!!! The food was on the 1 (crab cakes were CRACK), the drinks were in abundance, and the music was GREAT TOO!!! Everyone felt comfortable and keeps yellin what great time they had.
Add Image
I'm 22 and have been blessed with so much more than a young mind could ask for. I thank GOD for all the blessings i've received and will receive. THANK GOD FOR LIFE!!!! Anywho, the birthday weekend was wonderful. LOL, anybody who knows me knows i'm not the GO-GO type but it was bday wkend so I let the ladies take me to the RE show....I had a good time but it was my first and LAST time having A ZOMBIE. I think I lost my tolerance, thanks to college graduation LOL.....i'm happy yall, couldn't ask for more!!!

How was everyone else's weekend.????

Friday, December 4, 2009

Sooo, idk, I think?

So, i'm @ work and the day is just beginning. The problem is i'm bored already!! I realize that I don't like to much of any ONE thing. I like for things to be switched up, to be challenged, relaxed, and most of all I love being able to express myself. So, while I was supposed to be working on a VERY significant project at work yesterday, I decided to research some grad school programs to find one that interested me. I'm a learner, a student at heart and I love to learn so lately i've been feeling like my bachelors degree isn't enough. It was never going to be my only degree and trust me, IT WON'T. My plan is to study law, obtain my J.D, take the bar and practice law somewhere, probably out on the west coast, Cali, even though their bar is one of the hardest....or so I heard! In the meantime, I want another degree, a master's degree, an interesting career focus.

Right now, I am very thankful for what I am doing now. It's a GREAT opportunity, BIGtime resume builder, and I am learning a wealth of knowledge about the financial industry's rules, regulations, and policies. I'm making great money and I have some priceless contacts....i'm just not SURE this is what is for me. Don't get me wrong, I still want to explore this field as well. I just realize that I have other interests pokin' at my brain.....WHAT DO I DO??? Do I go back to school for journalism? Write for a column to try it out? Take some non-credit journalism class? WHAT DO I DO?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

He did what?????

Okay, so chik, on twitter lastnight, "outed" Pretty Ricky's Pleasure P as a child molester. Pretty Ricky and Pleasure, individually have been known for sexually explicit lyrics so I can't fake, my eyebrows did raise at the thought of this actually being true. It has been said that "Pleasure P, Marcus Cooper, was kicked out of the group Pretty Ricky for hiding that he was a child molester, and his people hired her dad (the dad of the chik on twitter) to help cover it up, save his image, so he could get a record deal. WOW!! DAMN!!! is all I could say. These are pretty serious allegations to drag someone's name through and for the sake of his reputation, career I pray they are actually true. Noone would believe they are false if he says they are. How'd he come back from that. This is serious stuff. HOWEVER, supposedly the girl's dad who was again, hired by Pleasure P's people to "keep" his career and image so to speak, hasn't been being paid regularly and so NOW she saw fit to take to twitter and do damage.
What's done in the dark will ALWAYS come to the light. For the sake of everyone's lives I hope the truth is exposed soon.


"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
~Marilyn Monroe

I couldn't have said it any better then the beautiful, late Ms.Monroe*** You love me? Like me? Care about me? Are my REAL friend? THEN PROVE IT!!!!