The Dating Series: What is Dating? What does it consist of & when does dating become a relationship?

Dating is getting to know someone while enjoying their company on a series of outings & meetings; going to dinner, movies, having picnics, staying up all hours of the day & night on the telephone, etc. The list could go on. Essentially, it's two people enjoying each other's company doing the things they each like to do. The dating phase, pre-relationship is usually about putting your best foot forward & "auditioning" potential mates for the most precious position of "the one". Much like job interviews, people usually look the best, speak their best, and do their absolute best during this phase...because as people we want to be wanted & to feel affection so we want to be THE ONE to land that part, but this part of the dating phase comes back to bite us in the ass during the relationship phase when we've stopped looking, speaking, and doing our best...& turning into someone completely unknown to our partner *enters problems* ....that's another topic.

The relationship phase of dating doesn't begin until two people have mutually decided & verbally communicated that they are only seeing each other after agreeing that there is a stronger than normal potential for a relationship between them to go the distance...whatever their distance is...LADIES sex does not make him your man! The start of a relationship must be communicated not assumed & their is NO time constraint on when a relationship should come to be! That is a personal choice between the daters...fast or slow, in dating, best practice is to COMMUNICATE & HAVE FUN!

& then "mommy" was added to the mix...

On February 19, 2012 @ 11:13am, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, my daughter Trinity Noelle.  Six days later, I'm still in awe of the whole experience.  I can't believe I gave birth (one of my biggest fears) and not only that, NATURAL birth! OMG, yes, I had NO pain medication...no epidural, drip, or anything.  After a series of false labor alarms last weekend, I entered active labor around 9:30am on the 19th, got to the hospital around 10:30 and gave my final push to push my princess into the world at 11:13am.  The reason for no drugs?  I got to the hospital fully dilated and it was just time to push...SCARED does not describe how I felt when I was told I wouldn't receive meds.  The pain from the contractions felt like someone was beating the hell out of me in the stomach and back with a bulldozer!  God must've heard my prayers from the previous months and he gave me an EXTRA quick delivery, but honestly the pain was absent during my pushing.  Anywho...as the title states "mommy" has been added to the mix!  I am someone's mommy!  Her dad and I are so ecstatic and I can already tell daddy's little girl can do no wrong!  I'm so happy for this new journey, the ability to give life, and for my daughter...my BLESSING!

Again it's that time of the year...

yeah, it is...time for holidays, family meals, making memories, staying indoors, reflecting on the current year and repositioning for the year ahead.  At least that is how it is for me!  Sitting here reading a few things (one to include TD Jakes' Relationship Bible), getting acquainted with my journal again, and thinking about where I am and how can I get to where I want to be from here is provoking many thoughts in me!  No doubt my life is changing even while I feel stagnant (just sometimes) and battle the up and down feelings of the excitment of impending mommyhood, confusion for not being a 100% on what I want to do with the rest of my life, and alone because I don't really feel like the friends I have had, some since forever, and I have a whole lot in common anymore.  Not to mention being pregnant and unwed has taken its toll on me here and there as well.  I pictured the ring before the baby carriage but due to untimely decision making things got real and life had something else planned.  So, my reality has become baby carriage no ring with complete contentment as I ponder about the horrible state of monogamy and the incline of divorce rates.  I no longer know if I EVER want to marry forreal!!  Oprah and Stedmond's lifestyle is looking like a go for me!  No contract, no vows, no big to do, no lifetime expectations, and no lies about for better or worse, sickness and health, rich or for poor til death we part!  I mean is anyone celebrating an anniversary?!?!  I'm sure the anniversaries of marriages will become just as extinct as dinosaurs by 2030!  Sad, a lover of Disney movies, namely Cinderella...I once became elated at the thought of marriage.  Things do change...

So, it's time to take inventory because I'm ever changing as well!!  What will my New Years post contain?!?  Besides the blessing of a beautiful, healthy, happy baby girl...what do I want REALLY?!? Time to refocus the life plan!

CUFFn Season....

I love the holiday season but as unreal as it seems, I'm still getting used to maneuvering through CUFFn season as a single gal *Grrrrrr*

I'm not the girl that feels like life is over because she doesn't have a beau BUT it's holiday season!!  The smell of pine and peppermint are in the air, there is an abundance of time and money to be spent on those we love most;  Boys II Men, Mariah Carey, Destiny's Child, Temptations, and Nat King Cole are all over the holiday airwaves, holiday movies are coming out left & right...and who doesn't love Christmas day snuggling??  Breakfast in bed, movies, Christmas morning passion, switching gifts, more holiday passion (LOL), dinner with the fam, then more snuggling with family, fire, and lots of memory making!!

Winter is the season of love but for a self proclaimed hopeless romantic, it can be the season of "woe is me."  Moreso than Valentines, to me, the holiday season is all about romance.  Think about it you have the lights, fragrances, cold weather to keep you in, family meals, Christmas gifting is all about mystery and mystery has always been sexy! .....

Let me snap out of it because none of that is what the season is really about, well, not completely anyway but the holidays and romance are like frick and frack, they simply just go together!!! My Christmas list is rather short all I want is a happy, HEALTHY, baby girl in the new year but a new, tall, dark, handsome, unexpected, fresh, romance to crush on would be nice too :)

Sooo Santa baby jazz it up a bit this year or next

" Treat a girl who’s not your girlfriend like she’s the love of your life and she will wait for the title forever"

~Black Girls Are Easy~

Damn!  Have I been that girl?  Of course I have, and so have many of the women I know.  I would be willing to bet that all women have, at least once.  What girl has not been the one saving up all her love coins for the jackpot that we THINK is the him that all BUT committs!  Seemingly it is all there; Chemistry, you go out, you meet everyone, you're seemingly the apple of his eye, he's investing time, affection, pillow talk, the works, it varies from situation to situation (I've lived this, my girlfriends have all at some point complained of this), EXCEPT when the topic of monogamy arises.  He's always not ready or unavailable for whatever reason.  Maybe it's distance (rolls eyes), or he's afraid of being hurt again (the okie doke), focusing on his career, can't provide for you the way he'd like to at the moment, blah blah blah...no need to proceed because we know the excuses proceed for miles!!  However, no matter what, WE, ol' loyal, find every reason in the book to be his ol' reliable...actually loving him and being committed to him while in actuality he is only NOT wifing you because he is waiting for whomever it is he actually wants and is actively seeking her while you love all over him or pitifully wait for the opportunity to. Yea, like Wendy Williams says, he is our boyfriend "in our heads", but you are only his "buddy" appropiate for every position but his ONE, his boo thing, his girl!  Crazy we find ourselves "in love" (the completely false version) with him and have never met his mama, the relationship talk is foreign territory, and despite our unconditional loyalty the reality is it is mostly physical, for the time being, or not what he wants at all.

With all of that said...WHY is it that we women continue to make excuses to rationalize our very illogical choices to stay in his corner??  Because like the quote above is saying...it's all for the title, the championship ring, the fantasy (picket fence, family portraits, kids, dog, and family vacays).  Don't get me wrong, he may want that BUT not with you... BUT yet you think  IF you could just get him to this or that, or if YOU could just DO this or that, say this or that...you'll be his top shelf choice.  How many times has that formula failed???  It always does!  I'ts sickening...what makes him so worthy/!?!?  And it's even more horrible when you recognize the crazy pattern in your own life in different degrees at different times but you notice it, it's there  Yea, I'm kinda guilty as I type this and have been in my past- hence the use of the word WE throughout the post, but in my Patti voice "its a newww day!!"

Do you love your occupation?!!?

I was posed the question last night of what is my dream job and am I doing it.  Well, to answer the question, if I could create my dream job OR stop procrastinating in my creation of it, I would own a personal shopping and image consulting mini empire!  That is a far far cry from the Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice I earned at the University of Maryland Eastern Shore, but as you grow you learn things including things about yourself.  Additionally, I have always wanted to run a nonprofit organization dedicated to the steady progression of young girls, preferable minority girls.  I have started the VERY basic ground work on these projects, but procrastination has hindered my own progression.  So disappointed in myself!!  Not to mention that everyday we wakeup not loving the life we live by living the life we'd love is a waste!!  The world wants what each of us has to give and inner passions are for a divine reason!  Are you living your dream?  What changes could you make to live the life you love and contribute to the world by way of your dreams and deepest passions?  I want anyone who reads this to take a second to think about the current quality of the life you live as it relates to your personal satisfaction and it's contribution to your innermost passions!! Are you on fire for your current endeavors and current occupation!?!? If not refocus and do what makes you happy...God has already figured out the rest!

"UNITED" States of America...The James Anderson Case

So, I have been trying to make an effort to stay up on National news. In my doing so, I came across the most saddening story about a man, James Anderson. As the doll that can cover it all, I will certainly be offering an opinion about this story. For those of you that are not familiar with the James Anderson story, here is an excerpt about the story from CNN's website:

"Jackson, Mississippi (CNN) -- On a recent Sunday morning just before dawn, two carloads of white teenagers drove to Jackson, Mississippi, on what the county district attorney says was a mission of hate: to find and hurt a black person. In a parking lot on the western side of town they found their victim. James Craig Anderson, a 49-year-old auto plant worker, was standing in a parking lot, near his car. The teens allegedly beat Anderson repeatedly, yelled racial epithets, including "White Power!" according to witnesses. Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith says a group of the teens then climbed into their large Ford F250 green pickup truck, floored the gas, and drove the truck right over Anderson, killing him instantly. "

I can imagine that, like myself, most people have been FLABBERGASTED by this story!! For a young African American woman it's; frustrating, infuriating, astonishing, hurtful, and a REMINDER!!! America refuses to part with her first, truest, longest lasting romance with RACISM!! Racism is ever present and abound...the oppression, discrimination, prejudice against people of color, namely African American people will never be something we REMEMBER. We did not need to know this story to remind us of this fact, just look at the hard time that the President of the Nation is getting and we all know why its that way! Oh and remember the Jena 6 in Jena, Louisiana? Yea, that was less than 10 years ago..forgot about that? I posted about that too!

While, the death of James Anderson and the means by which he died should really not be a surprise to people, it is because of where we are as a country, but honestly it should not be because of the same reason. Mississippi especially, has teetered tottered with it's Jim Crow past since the day of Reconstruction. Doubt me? The state did not adopt the 13th Amendment UNTIL 1995!!!! HOWEVER, with ALL OF THAT, taken into account; the nerve, the gull, the motivation, the will of someone to act the way those teenagers did that night is ASTONISHING, APPALLING, SHOCKING, HATEFUL, MORBID TO say the LEAST!!

I will be glued to the media to see just how the state of Mississippi, who has declared this a racial, hate crime already, will handle this case and the offenders.

They should be made example of in every way possible, National examples.

Let this incident remind us that to know one's history and to progress as a unit and a country is to also take on the responsibility to personally rectify it by any means necessary. It is PRE-Election year, remember the voting rights act was not passed until 1965, schools were not desegregated until 1954, it took 232 years approximately to get our first President of color, the President was just publicly called a "Tar baby", and everyday subtle gestures of racism are among us all. These were not old people that killed James Anderson. They did not burn crosses and sport white robes and masks. These were simply teenagers with evil intentions that had fatal results...in the America we live in NOW! It was not that long ago that the parents, grandparents, and great grandparents of these children hosed down blacks, refused service to blacks, and owned slaves! Like folk tales, and recipes, ideas of racism and evil are passed down through generations. WE, AMERICANS, have to KNOW better to do better for the common good. My prayers are extended to both the family of James Anderson as well as his soul, and the families of those teenagers.

Will Mississippi adequately seek justice?

Link to the story http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/08/06/mississippi.hate.crime/index.html

Gonna be SINGLE for Vday??

Being single for Valentines Day is like living a horror movie when you don't have a Valentine, it seems. While, that's not how I feel, I certainly am going through "lovers withdrawl" realizing that this is the first time in 5 years, I won't be showered with romance on Valentines Day...So, rather then sulk and reminisce on all the beautiful, over the top, romantic Valentines Days I have had in recent years, I'm gonna reinvent the day for ME!! OTHER SINGLE GIRLS SHOULD FEEL FREE TO DO THE SAME!1. Get wasted or just a little tipsy turvy with one of your single girlfriends OR single guy friends and go SPEED DATING for the fun of it! I've never been but i'm seriously considering this, sounds fun!

2. SPA DAY!!! This you can do alone or with a friend....got more than one single friend? Have a SPA day and get a nice hotel for the night and have a sleepover. Why not spice it up with a "TOY" party, maybe some pole dancing...may be able to use the toys and moves on Vday next year.

3. Got a crush? That's less than 200 miles away? *LOL*cheap plug* maybe flip the script, go out on the limb, and have a platonic night out on the town with him. After some drinks, laughs, fun...you may muster up the courage to tell how you feel ANNNND THUS, maybe have vday on lock for next year.

4. Go out to dinner anyway!! Hit up a nice restaurant, avoid romantic places like the Melting Pot, CoCo Sala, Ruth's Chris, Mortons, etc, boooooo to couples everywhere!! Have fun...go with a SEXY male friend to see No Strings Attached. I hear its good!

5. Go OUT! PARTY! That's a great part about being single. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER, WHENEVER, HOWEVER YOU WANT!!!!!!!!! Dare to wear RED in as sexy a fashion as possible, slip on the sexiest stilleto, get dolled up, party and flirt your heart out for Vday!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHATEVER YOU DO, HAVE FUN, BE SAFE!!

LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!!

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Finding Myself....

"& honestly, at 23, I would probably love my work more than I did she. So we, ain't we, it's me and, her, cus what she prefers over me, is work. & that's where we differ, I have to give her free time even if it hurts. So breathe, mami it's deserved. You've been put on this earth to be all you can be like the reserves. And me, my time in the army is served. So, I have to allow her. her time to serve. The time is now for her, in time she'll mature....and to ask her now, it ain't fair"

~JayZ~

BUT he'll GAIN one instead of losing one.

I'm extremely happy and proud of myself and the young lady Ive become; 23, gainfully employed, childless, crazy manless (actually just manless lol), law abiding, community serving citizen conquering her dreams!! That verse from "Lost One" reminds me of myself, right now, for the world. I'm doing me successfully with not much room for a "him" but, with that, my "ME" project is successfully underway and when the time is right, he'll be one PROUD King, Blessed among men.

I'm the happiest I've been in the last 3 years and I'm happier by the day because I own my happiness, my peace, my smile, and my dreams...BECOMING ALL I CAN BE LIKE THE RESERVES!! It's been somewhat of a struggle getting here, but the joy is knowing those stories have ended and now I'm single-handedly writing this bestseller of ME, NOW! We question, life's trials and we make our plans not knowing what lies on the other side if those plans just happen to not come into fruition Well, mine fell through, and i'm happy to say my smile is bigger, my days are more positive, my circle is more supportive, and my short & long term goals are underway!!!!!

YAY ME!!!!!

Everything I am now is just a snippet of the well rounded woman I really hope to be one day adding to that Legal Professional, Entrepreneur, Wife, Mom, and Friend! I'm realizing dreams by the day!! ALL of what I AM NOW is what I have always wanted to be.

In hindsight, I wouldn't have it any other way....I'm enjoying being 23!!!!!!!!

Halfway in and wanting out...

Going on two years!! We play tug of war, cat & mouse with each other's emotions...I know I can't handle it, im only falling in more, the distance is the enemy but he could, if he wanted to, do so much more...

Welcome to my inner thoughts, well, as they pertain to HIM anyway! This is stupid! Who allows themself to begin falling for someone 200+ miles away!?!!? BUT, when I say he's THAT GUY, he really is THAT GUY; handsome, tall (6'3"), intelligent, gainfully employed, single, no children, senses of humor, athletic...............................all but he's NOT HERE!!! WTf!

I mean I like this guy, really like this one...we have history too but something is missing! I want pampering, catering and he's just not giving that. I'm stuck between wanting to ride this out (have fun, see where it goes), just being his friend, and well, being NEITHER! When Deborah & R.L sang "We can't be friends" they were definitely singing about us. WE CAN'T! We try and we suck at it because there is something there but for the life of me, I can't figure out if he is worth finding out what that is...*sigh*. I WANT OUT!! This is way too confusing, I mean I could love him one day but I don't want to....ugh!!

I hate not getting what I want & this has definitely been a challenge: a stupid hormone filled one...Excuses my venting!!!!!

woes of the dating girl..single woman blues

Cruising a popular online forum for bloggers, I came across a thread posted by a young woman that read something like help me figure out what's wrong with me, i'm trying to find Mr.Right!

My question is, does Mr.Right and Mrs.Right actually exist or is there just Mr. & Mrs. Good Enough? What constitutes someone as "Right" and is that purely personal to the seeker of love? Furthermore, is monogamy a thing of the past?

I ask because everyone seems to just be kickin' it, "talking", chillin', and doing them. I hear very few people, young and old alike, actually taking steps to be with one another exclusively to learn and embrace growing in love together. What's up with that? I mean we're closer than we've ever been before right, with blogger, twitter, facebook, bbm, email, myspace, skype, messenger, text messages, etc. The list just goooooes!! With all of the these social mediums to meet, interact, and get acquainted with one another, why does it seem, and I stress SEEM because I have not studied this or anything, that healthy, monogamous, relationships of substance are so few and far in between?? I mean I'm not even talking about marriage, that's another can of worms. I'm simply speaking of exclusive courtships, RELATIONSHIPS between two people. It seems like everyone is scared to man or woman up and put both feet in for fear of getting GOT so we continue to "play the game", or making sure we get them before they "GET" us....but why??? How come monogamy seems to have such a bad rap? How can that be overcome? and have the barriers, whatever they may be, that are preventing healthy, loving relationships, long relationships always been there, but because of the forementioned social mediums they're ever so noticeable?

I mean really? She was, at least as it relates to looks, a perfectly attractive woman...has it really come to women taking to social networks on the world wide web to find love or a worthy date???

Northern Swag v. Southern Charm

LADIES!!! I'm from the DMV that's the D.C, Maryland, Virginia area for those that don't know! Born and raised in the sexy nation's capitol!!!! To some i'm from the north, to others i'm what they call a southern belle and to others I fall right in between living here. However, my question is to the ladies....

When it comes to men, I always find myself drawn to the confidence, swag (yea i hate the word too), walk, accent, style, and flava of a guy from up top...most notably The Empire and Garden States (that's New York and New Jersey)...I like them, the slang, the cockiness, and perceived rudeness, the way they rock a fitted, and call you ma!!!!!!!!!

BUT....

I'm aware that some ladies prefer a man south of the mason dixon...we call them, well, the worthy ones, Southern Gentleman. They're handy, can fix you a good meal, likely open all your doors, court you the old fashioned way (flowers, romance, walks). To me, they tend to be softer, gentler, and sweeter....even the "hard" ones....they're a good look too.

However, I have a preference so I was wondering if my readers/followers did too????? What's your preference Lovin' from up top OR a good ol' southern gentleman?!?!?!?!? NORTH OR SOUTH???

Home alone blabbin...

My family is in Florida for a week and with no boyfriend and a slew of friends in new relationships, I'm taking in some me time! Not a bad idea, i've been looking forward to having this kind of time to myself for awhile now. At least this way I don't have the expense of a hotel. I'm enjoying me....my space, interests, and personal "talks" with self. (NO i'm not crazy!!!!) but we all know that solitude can & will afford us the kind of clarity and peace of mind on things that other people, constant activity, and interference can't.

*Sigh* Drake's "Find Your Love" just came on...I love this song, his cd...for some reason his music reminds me of my college days, especially this song!! *smile* as I look back on memories of my journey throught that last love of mine. Everyone said there'd be a day I looked back on it and smile. I guess they were right *smile*! ANYWAYS...

This is the first time that I am the lone single chik in my circle and I wonder what that means. What is this new phase of my journey? What is God up to in me? I feel changes, maturity taking place almost daily...and maybe thats just it. Sometimes I miss the him of my most recent past, even the bad times. I miss his friendship more than any other i've said farewell to within the recent past but since that goodbye i've experienced great growth on a personal level. I'm better without my crutch (him) and I'm at a place where I can say I hope the same could be said of him.

NONETHELESS i'm still enjoying life...clubs with my girls, new restaurants every week, flirting with guys, having my pick (& most times the lack thereof) of the mens, making and enjoying $$$$$, and being me without the constant criticism of another disguised as love.

LOL!! Funny, how we always work OT to wonder whats really good with us when all the things I just named are likely precisely the reason why I am single right now. Most of my girlfriends experienced those things in college, but I didn't. I was bunned up under my boyfriend, fighting/arguing with him at a time when life was supposed to be carefree and fun!

I can dig that...I'm enjoying the hell outta it!! My college education ended a little over a year ago but we never stop learning about life. That's the beauty of this thing, this blessing!! I'm so happy and in control for the first time I own my emotions, reactions, actions, and choices. YAY me!!!

BTW, I haven't been posting often but i'm certainly making my way on the comments circuit...so I see yall, keep bloggin' so I can comment!!!

The Conversation...

we've all had it with friends, family, and people we're dating. You know, the conversation about dating and relationships...I find it particularly interesting to have those kinds of conversations with a male than female, because it's likely she's thinking what i'm already thinking and its funny to hear how men think of women, in relationships. Yesterday I finished reading Hill Harper's book...The Conversation (two years too late) but hey, late is always better than never!!!! My female followers have GOT to go pick up this book if you haven't already!!! Hill (successful actor, author, and Harvard Law grad) covers this "conversation" about how Black men and women can build loving, trusting relationships, like NOONE else!!

He talks about it all, his own relationship fears, what he thinks, and what I liked most is he got the men to open up (ALL THE WAY UP) about how they felt about their female counterparts, Black women...and ladies you know we definitely put in our two cents throughout this book....This book is honest, captivating, and so much more!! Anyone, especially anyone Black that is interested in changing their mindset about Black love or just hearing the ideas of others about why we, as people, do what we do and dont do...needs to pickup this book!!

From money, marriage, exes, kids, cheating, to relationships, looks at self, faith, health, sex and STDs, this book went IN!!!!

This book made me wish I was in a book club full of 20-something black men and women, having passionate debates at busboys about this ish....GO GET IT!!!! THEN LETS BLOG/TALK ABOUT IT!!

I LOVE BLACK MEN!!! This book helped completely understand me in the eyes of them! and made me love them and understand them even more!!!

Morning tea...

The questions i'm asking my fab followers this morning are:

Would you relocate for love?? Under what circumstances would you move for love? Does it matter where you'd have to move??

Ladies, do you feel like the man should be the one to relocate?

I'm seeing this gentleman that i've known for quite sometime **squeals & bats eyelashes** (I LIKE HIM), so this question is the result of a personal thought "would I ever relocate for love?"

I think I would actually, with no problem, although I prefer the city over the bluegrass fields of Kentucky...i'd relocate as a result of matters of the heart.

WHAT ABOUT YOU???

Black Coffee no sugar....or cream??? REALLY??

Sunshine from www.thatsfine2009.blogspot.com (CHECK HER OUT) is doing this at least one post a day for the month of June and I said I'd try it too, but clearly I defaulted this weekend. I was so wrapped up this weekend that I didn't have time to blog...sorry??

It's Monday morning and with every Monday morning comes a new beginning...but today I want to talk about interracial marriages.

• What is your take on them?


• Would you consider marrying outside of your race?


• Have you dated outside of your race??


• What do you think your family would feel about you deciding to marry outside of your race??

I got into the office this morning and as usual decided to check CNN's website in an effort to stay up on what's going on and found an article that sparked my interest about interraccial marriages. The article highlighted the fact that interracial marriages are at an all time high in the United States. I mean, this really isn't a huge surprise given this nation's history on race relations, but to me it was a pleasant surprise. The statistics state that interracial marriages comprise approximately 15% of marriages (not staggering but illustrates improvement)

Personally, I don't discriminate. Attractive, charming, romantic, and intelligent is becoming no matter what the color of the outside is, but there are some in my social circle that feel otherwise...that even in 2010, everyone should romantically/sexually mix with their "own kind"

It's 2010, the President is biracial, interracial dating is not as taboo as it once was, we live in an integrated society SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM??? In my opinion, with the odds being you're gonna get divorced anyway (hopefully not, but let's be real), why not explore ALL the available options & maximize on real, everlasting love as much as possible???

Isn't it time that as a nation we start ONLY viewing and appreciating the bond, love, and happiness between two people as opposed to their seemingly cultural differences and racial background?? When you think about all those components, is it, race, really important?

I'm asking because I have friends who become way too involved and angered that a famous Black man is dating a nonblack woman (now being called the Kardashian Effect) and vice versa with the guys....

Chad "OchoCinco" Johnson caught heat last week because, reportedly, he eliminated all the Black women from his VH1 dating show (supposedly) is that wrong if that is his preferance? If the person or women he liked the most happened to not be Black? Should men/women put aside their REAL feelings for the sake of "keeping it all black/white" or whatever???

Is it wrong to prefer a mate that is not of your same racial makeup???

There was once a time that interracial dating/marriages were illegal and the choice was nonexistenet to date outside of one's race or not. Sometimes I think that some of my friends and family members would still prefer for our society to still be like that as a result of their comments...I think interracial couples are the most beautiful!! The intergration of different cultures to me is beautiful and the children that are raised as products of that interracial, rule breaking love are more beautiful....

However, I know not everyone shares my views and that's fine...Bloggers what's your take??

Here is the link to the CNN article: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/06/04/pew.interracial.marriage/index.html?hpt=C2

When it's over...

between you and an ex, do you mind if your ex still keep in touch with your family/friends??? Do you expect your ex to breakup with your entire personal environment (your hangouts, family, friends) when you breakup with them?? What boundaries or aspects of your life, do you mind your ex lover to not cross or show face in after your flame has died out???

My two co-workers and I often chat about specific situations in which you or someone you're close with interacts with your old flame and whether it's boundary crossing or not, and our opinions are very varied so I wanted to get my readers opinions on this....

Is it cool??? or when it's over is everything that came with you, over for them too????

Question of the day...

If youre still friends with an ex flame/boyfriend/girlfriend whatever...would you invite them to your wedding or disregard the friendship for fear that your more than steamy past would upset your fiance?

TALK TO ME BLOGGERS!!!

What do my readers think....

about the other woman? In recent months i've read a few posts about cheating and how people felt about the act in the wake of the Tiger Woods "scandal" but what do you all think about the other woman? Do we blame her solely, if at all? In the celebrity world, quite a few couples have been gettin' it in, doin' the grown up and one party isn't completely single...usually separated officially or unofficially from a husband or wife. Some I can think of off the top of my head are Swizz Beatz of course, Dewayne Wade, Shaunie O'neal. Do you think that it is wrong for not yet divorced man or woman to move on romantically? Does it matter if they have kids or not? I'm just wondering what my readers think of these things. I know my feelings and will remain objective until I hear your thoughts but there it is bloggers; What do you think??? ''

Also, is there ever really true love and trust after cheating? I believe in forgiveness whether you choose to take him or her back regardless BUT are both compononents (love & trust) ever really restored in said relationship???

TALK TO ME BLOGGERS!!!

I had a blast this weekend with some long time and not so long time friends. We all got together to celebrate the 25th birthday of one of my dearest friends and exCollege suitemate. I almost didn't make the festivities but i'm happy that I did! The much needed fun & girl time came at THE BEST time!! In the midst of all the partying, chit chats, and smiling for the cameras, I took a moment to step back and reflect on the friendships/relationships i've had along the years. My reflection was met with feelings of bittersweet satisfaction as I remembered "friendships" that didn't quite last, the gabillions of memories i've accumulated, and the friendships i'm able to still celebrate to this day for their endurance through the ups and downs of life & growing up.

I've had to say goodbye to some I once called friend and viewed as an extended member of my family...the older sisters I never had, older brothers i've wished for and the would be husband that ended up just another ex-boyfriend. I'm still growing up, and while I hate that some of those relationships were short lived, i'm uber proud of the crowd of well rounded, funny, caring, smart young people that I have attached the title of life long friend to. I've learned alot over the years and I've learned enough to realize that the bunch that I move with now is a a permanent bunch. So, it's with a smile that I think of all the memories we have yet to make & realize like; anniversaries, graduations, births, weddings, heartbreak, birthdays, vacations, and phone conversations just to say we're thinking about each other. I'm BLESSED to have these people and vice versa.....