" Treat a girl who’s not your girlfriend like she’s the love of your life and she will wait for the title forever"
~Black Girls Are Easy~
Damn! Have I been that girl? Of course I have, and so have many of the women I know. I would be willing to bet that all women have, at least once. What girl has not been the one saving up all her love coins for the jackpot that we THINK is the him that all BUT committs! Seemingly it is all there; Chemistry, you go out, you meet everyone, you're seemingly the apple of his eye, he's investing time, affection, pillow talk, the works, it varies from situation to situation (I've lived this, my girlfriends have all at some point complained of this), EXCEPT when the topic of monogamy arises. He's always not ready or unavailable for whatever reason. Maybe it's distance (rolls eyes), or he's afraid of being hurt again (the okie doke), focusing on his career, can't provide for you the way he'd like to at the moment, blah blah blah...no need to proceed because we know the excuses proceed for miles!! However, no matter what, WE, ol' loyal, find every reason in the book to be his ol' reliable...actually loving him and being committed to him while in actuality he is only NOT wifing you because he is waiting for whomever it is he actually wants and is actively seeking her while you love all over him or pitifully wait for the opportunity to. Yea, like Wendy Williams says, he is our boyfriend "in our heads", but you are only his "buddy" appropiate for every position but his ONE, his boo thing, his girl! Crazy we find ourselves "in love" (the completely false version) with him and have never met his mama, the relationship talk is foreign territory, and despite our unconditional loyalty the reality is it is mostly physical, for the time being, or not what he wants at all.
With all of that said...WHY is it that we women continue to make excuses to rationalize our very illogical choices to stay in his corner?? Because like the quote above is saying...it's all for the title, the championship ring, the fantasy (picket fence, family portraits, kids, dog, and family vacays). Don't get me wrong, he may want that BUT not with you... BUT yet you think IF you could just get him to this or that, or if YOU could just DO this or that, say this or that...you'll be his top shelf choice. How many times has that formula failed??? It always does! I'ts sickening...what makes him so worthy/!?!? And it's even more horrible when you recognize the crazy pattern in your own life in different degrees at different times but you notice it, it's there Yea, I'm kinda guilty as I type this and have been in my past- hence the use of the word WE throughout the post, but in my Patti voice "its a newww day!!"