Strength of a people...

YES, I think that'd be a fitting way to describe the role of the Black Woman in the African American community. From Hottentot to Michelle Obama, THE Black woman has, since the beginning of time, been the strength of her people even when she herself felt like going forward was the inevitable impossible. I am a daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, cousin, coworker, student but the hat I wear with the most pride is the one of African American Woman. Her strength is unmatched and her challenges have often been grueling and lonely but, just like Dr. Angelou she continues to shine and rise!!!! That is why with Black History Month approaching and Women's History Month right after I will be doing one post a week to acknowledge, celebrate and spotlight an African American Woman of signifance, beauty, poise. Whether she's artistic, political, an intellectual, philanthropist, the candy lady or Ms. Shirley from next door....The next two months will be all about my fellow Beautiful Black Women******

UGH of the damn week....

Some exes just don't know how to stay just that, an ex! Some you keep in contact with and maybe there's that one you really do love and keep going back to or end up with but some are just over and you prefer to forget they ever happened...but it never fails that one doesn't forget you! I received a letter in the mail a couple of days ago from an ex and immediately the involuntary rolling of my eyes began as I noticed the envelope with his return address on it complete with his inmate identification number...some things never change! So I open it reluctantly because my first thought was to return it right where it came from but of course curiousity got the best of me and I read it. It was his same BS about how he loves me, has never stopped loving me and knows we're perfect for each other somewhere in his F'd up world of deliriousness, criminal behavior, unemployment, and baby mama drama to say the least....TURN OFF MUCH!!!

Our history??? He's my dude from way back when I was younger, naive, inexperienced and thought that it'd be possible to be happy with someone who had a criminal record as long as Pennsylvania Avenue, was uneducated, and was in & out of jail for some kind of bullish or another....yea, I was the sillly chik for a hot second, don't judge me lol!!

I had the opportunity to talk to him face to face last spring, while he was in between serving bids, and asked him what could we possibly be? Why he think that opportunity still exists? I mean my family would never except him, I have a Criminal Justice degree & this dude IS the criminal justice system's defendant probably with the most recurring cases, his daughter's mom is a Certified NutCase, he has a 10th grade education, no work experience, and even though I love me a street-wise man with the toughness and thug appeal to match...THAT EXTREME is not, at all, what I want....UGH!!! He won't go away!! It's so funny because the envelope said December 8th, he wished me a happy belated birthday in the letter AND wrote on the back of the envelope to forward the letter to the right address if necessary. He also said he had put his cousins on notice to ask my friends/associates for my number if they see them and asked his mom to look through his things to find my cell number.....THIS NEGRO HAS LOST HIS MIND, I DON'T WANT HIM!!!! I haven't thought about him, missed him or anything of the sort...UGH***

LOST ONE**

As we progress through life, we encounter many different kinds of personalities. We befriend some of them, fall in love with some but one thing is certain not all of them will last, all aren't meant to. That is the aspect that we have trouble dealing with the most as people. We seek acceptance, companionship, affection and love so when someone we want around no longer wants us around we often find it difficult to cope with that reality. Although, life does eventually move on...and this could be true of a relationship with a family member, friend or "friend", and mate. Even "life long" friends can be people that existed only in your past, and it is perfectly fine and very normal to be sad, at first, but of more importance to understand the role he/she played in your life, acknowledge and appreciate the good you two shared and DECIDE that relationship is over and moving on is vital to YOUR development, YOUR health, and YOUR happiness. It doesn't make you a bad person, doesn't mean you never cared for them, it means you understand that your happiness is up to you and that NOTHING should negatively impact that. People often tell me I am "heartless", insensitive because I approach relationships and i'll be honest I approach most friendships with this state of mind...it's not that I am never or never was your friend, it's because I understand that there will be other relationships and that when ANY door closes it's working for the eventual good and means another is not too far from opening. Don't get me wrong there are friendships/relationships worth fighting for, worth putting work into...but some have just run their course and you'll know those when you come across them.

LESSON: DO NOT pour in unnecessary energy or stress over situations, people, things you CANNOT and will NOT ever be able to change. Choose to be happy, smiling, at peace, secure, and sure of your surroundings and associates. Anything else WILL compromise all of that.

I can say that i've realized this as I examined the relationships & "friend"/friendships i've had but nothing or noone has kept me from being happy, living the life I want to live and pursuing the things I want to pursue...that means everything that ended and everyone that is no longer IS NOT for a reason!!!!

Caesars, Tiffany's, Mia...

I'm at work feeling happy, refreshed, blessed and ready for anything. I had a mini vacay with the boyfriend this weekend in Atlantic City. I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't really all excited about going in the beginning because it's winter. However, now i'm glad we went there. He arranged for us to stay in Caesars Palace. We had a King suite on the 38th floor so we saw all of the scenery and beautiful lights of the nighttime Atlantic City skyline!! The first night was pretty chill he played a little Roulette and I just relaxed. Friday, the second day we had lunch in The Pier @ Caesars Palace in the Continental, gambled, and then shopped. Indeed we shopped and I ended up being the recipient of some very, pretty, stud-ball silver Tiffany earrings....LOVE THEM!!! We had dinner that night at the restaurant Mia and i'll admit I felt a bit out of place at first, a little uncomfortable but quickly got over that. Reason being, we were the only young people in the place and we were the only African Americans. Nonetheless, my babe's sense of humor, sweetness made the dinner humorous and the food was pretty good. I was secretly hoping it wasn't one of those bougie places that looks pretty, has high prices and less than great food but I was satisfied. The rest of the trip was spent gambling, visiting the other hotels, taking pics, eating out....We had a good time! It made more excited about my girls trip to Vegas in April though!!!!

YEP!! CERTIFIED...

Paralegal!! I need to get back in the books. Anyone who knows me or have read a couple of my previous posts, know that attending law school is something i've always wanted to do & well, yea it still is BUT FIRST I want to become and work as a certified Paralegal. So, with that I have decided to apply to Georgetown University's School of Continuing Studies to become a certified Paralegal. I hope I get in. I mean, the fact that i'm even blogging about this has me a little anxious because I was gonna keep it to myself...you know, just in case they rejected my behind even though I don't know why they would. My excitement is what has me telling you all this though the possibilities that can come from this have me antsy! I'm about done with my application with the exception of my essay. My supervisor, co-worker (former mentor during my internship), and former academic advisor in college have all signed on to do my recommendations so after that I just have to wait. I'm excited because i've always wanted to go to law school @ Georgetown University...I LOVE DC, CITY OF INTELLECT, POWER, i've pondered about becoming a paralegal for sometime now and never had the time while I was in college...so here goes!!! Furthermore, I just realized that all the attorneys in my office except 2 went to Georgetown University Law. My work ethic & output have been excellent if I must say so myself, so this just screams recommendation and connect heaven even while i'm trying not to excite myself too much and get my hopes all up! I finally got the ball rolling on my essay today....TRUST, I'll keep everyone posted once I get my admissions decision.

****WISH ME LUCK PLEASE****

Black men might be....

my all time guitly pleasure. I know the boyfriend would just die if he read this but after reading that essence magazine last night (YES, the new one with fine, rock hard, chocolate Reggie Bush on it), Im still a little excited because my mind keeps going there sinfully recollecting the pictures of Reggie, Lance Gross, Terrence Howard, Maxwell...chocolate, whether it be milk, dark or white has ALWAYS been my flavor of choice!! To me, there is nothing more alluring, mysterious, and sensual than a black man!! I mean there is the black woman because we're some BAD creatures ourselves, but I'm speaking from the perspective of a heterosexual, black woman and the black man in all his flavor, silent yet overwhelming strength, mystery, quiet confidence and meticulously put together fineness has had me lustfully daydreaming since forever!!! I LOVE them!! Lord knows I prefer them!! Don't get me wrong I don't discriminate against the men. White men are cool, Latin men are another story I like them too, Italians are okay, and a few asians have caught my eye too, but NO man has the commanding presence of a strong, black man. From every walk of life the black man brings to the table the strength, charisma and SPICE** There is NOTHING stronger, tastier, smarter, wittier, sexier, more exciting than a BLACK man !!!

BUT I can't help it...GUIDO bliss lol!!

NO really I can't!!! I'm addicted to MTV's Jersey Shore...I was this ish probably everyday!!! It's like The Real World on steroids; strangers, in a house for a few months lol but they're all Italian on the Jersey Shore in the summer time!!! I really can't get enough this show and Snookie is sooo cute, I really want her to find love and guy that will treat her nice, but she BLOWS my life with that white hair clip LOL but I love it too! Sam and Ronnie's little summer fling/love thing is entertaining it's like are they cute or aren't they? I'm watching the show now....LIKE I SAID I LOVE IT, CAN'T GET ENOUGH!!! My honey is sooo over me watching it over and over again but KUDOS to the brainchild behind this show, it's GREAT TV!!

The SPOOF IS HILARIOUS & I LOVE THE WAY Pauly D TALKS!!!!

Bookworm Bloggin...

So, I said in the new year I wanted to get back into reading and so far, so good and I joined a bookclub @ work! I started off the new year reading the work of a familiar author (familiar to me anyway) KiKi Swinson. Her most popular book would probably be WIFEY. I read Wifey back in 2007 and it was good. I managed to stay interested and finish the book. After finishing I heard of the sequal I'm Still Wifey and of course wanted to read it. So my first two books this new year were I'm Still Wifey and Life After Wifey. Both books gave more enthusiasm, drama then the first......all surrounding the main character Kira. LADIES, read WIFEY!!! I'm the only person I know besides an old friend that has read the book but it's worth it, if for nothing else to finish the story with Life After Wifey!!! KiKi served, in Life After, drama, sex, the realness of the streets, deception, love....LOL!!! There were a few times that I found myself so into that book (Life After...) that I was feeling every emotion the characters were feeling; fear, love, lust, arrogance, etc, etc, etc....I love the African American urban novels, and for anyone else who does as well, the Wifey series is a MUST READ!!!!

SO...I'm searching the web while in the middle of this post and discovered "Still Wifey Material" as the fourth book in the Wifey series. Will keep you posted on how I like this one because i'm definitely getting ready to order it......

Last night....

started off a little loopy but the night was wonderful. The boo & I went to see Monica in concert in B-More and it took forever for her to get there but anywho, she did!! The concert was hott!! I actually like to going to concerts in Baltimore more because their venues are smaller and you're likely to get a GREAT seat. Our seats were center stage and even though we were on the 11th row, it was like we were in row 5!!! I was sooo pressed because she doesn't have song I don't like and all her songs have been a favorite of mine at one point or another. We had fun, sipped some cocktails, sang, and took some pics. LOL, Monica is so real and so "hood" in a good way!! I love that about her, I love that she's never put on the "better than" act and stay true to herself all these years....commendable. I HAD A BLAST**

So I wonder with....

the movie "Precious" experiencing so much success in theaters does that mean a new space will open up for movies based on more African American literature....I love my African American authors and urban novels; Flyy Girl (Omar Tyree's famed novel & MUST read), Coldest Winter Ever, Wifey, etc, etc...When I get one in my hand I can't LITERALLY can't put it down!!

I want to see some of these movies hit the big screen. Maybe, then theyll be more of an outlet for African American actors and actresses. I relate to alot of these books as i'm sure lots of people do and I think it's about time we see some of our stories made into motion pictures. The mainstream's authors like Nicholas Sparks, Jackie Collins have books that hit the big screen with no problem but my hope is that production heavyweights like Tyler Perry in our community will take the lead on these projects.

We haven't seen any projects from the likes of John Singleton, Spike Lee in a while....So what's the holdup Black Hollywood??? Maybe it's funding cause the talent, material is there. I'm hopeful that we will one day see these books become major motion pictures.

I can see the DELICIOUS Lance Gross as Midnight from Coldest Winter Ever, Lauren London as Tracey from Flyy Girl, and with a few more acting classes Beyonce could be Kyra from Wifey!!!!!!! I need some new books too!!!

I never wanted so much for someone....

else than I do right now. The aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti has my heart so heavy the past couple of days. Yesterday, I donated $10 but what, honestly, is that going to do? It may buy a couple of bottles of water, some can goods, and allow someone to make a phone call or two but I want to make a big difference, and help someone but I don't have the means to do that! I watched CNN lastnight and sadness quickly started to consume me as I read some of the facts about this very poor and forgotten country. Just watching CNN lastnight was a humbling experience. I live in Prince Georges County, Maryland and Haiti the entire country is just the size of the state of Maryland, 58% of the population is under 18 years old and 39% are under the age of 15.....THINK ABOUT THAT!!! Most of the people in need, starving, dying, homeless are just children. That really breaks my heart especially in regards to Haiti because this is already a country that was amongthe world's poorest...and now they have to weather this? Those babies have to weather this? Just think, some of them, although poor, will never see their parents, siblings again. The government is in shambles and the only hope the citizens of this country has is that a world that more often then not, didn't think of them and come to their rescue, will now!!

I found it hard lastnight to go on with my evening as usual. As I drove home in my Mercedes, talked to my boyfriend on my BlackBerry, browsed the net on my laptop, looked at the news on my 40" flat screen, tried to make a decision about dinner (from a kitchen full of food), thought about what I'm going to wear to the concert tomorrow, and crawled in to my king sized bed...i realized how really none of those THINGS mattered at all and that just a few hundred miles from the U.S people were dying, starving, had no leadership to look to, no shelter....I had to turn it all off and let those thoughts marinate within me. There is a world outside of this bubble called the United States of America, and we tend to forget that soo much! We take for granted the plumbing systems, clean water, meds, paved roads, that we have choices of what to eat.....WE ARE TRULY LUCKY/BLESSED but to be of a blessing to another!!!

I'm so very proud of President Obama's swift response to the disaster in Haiti and I urge everyone to find a way to donate/help and DO IT!!! Give blood, donate cash....LET'S ALL DO OUR PART TO HELP OUR FELLOW CITIZENS OF THIS WORLD!!!!

UGH...a NEW look is in order!

I need a new look...I am so tired of wearing this bob that i'm on my own nerves!!! It's been so long that my hairstylist refuses to even do it again. However, I can't for the life of me decide what it is I should do next with my hair. I've been working hard to get it to grow back from the last few times I chopped it off BUT i'm struggling with not going that route again....ugh HELP SOMEONE!!! I'm thinking about keeping the bang and going long for the duration of winter, hmmm IDK!!! Nothing is inspiring me and everyone and their momma is trying to look like Ms. Nicki Basic Minaj!! I'm feeling GLAM though, like long, popping lashes, vibrant lip color/gloss, soften up my nail polish and natural eye makeup while playing up the lashes.....IT'S A NEW YEAR!!!! I need some help...I feel like i've outdone myself! How do you outdo YOURSELF...i've changed so much I don't know what the freak to do......

Hey there....

I been on this hiatus. Not necessarily because I wanted to be but because the new year bought with it a refreshing new love from an old beau, projects galore @ work (not complaining) and well, i've just been busy, but in a good way. I was excited about this year, optimistic about the good stuff I felt it would have to offer and so far so good. One thing I said I start doing is reading more for pleasure and knowledge and so that's had my attention as well, and of course like everyone else, I've been on this NEW year, NEW me kick....working out like crazy! I have been hearing so many stories about people who blog for a living lately. I mean they are really supporting their lifestyles by just letting their fingers dance across the keyboard as they spill out their thoughts and opinions to a cyper world full of billions of strangers.

I have blogged about this before but I really would love to do that, but it takes such dedication and there seems, @ least on the surface, seems to so much more security in the traditional 9-5. I mean, unless something happens or I reallly F up on the job really bad, my job will be there for me and so will my paycheck. Not so much security in blogging for a living but maybe, one day.

I am sooo EXCITED to be goin' to the Monica concert in B-More this Friday with the boo!!! I have been listening to her music alot lately, leading up to the show and it takes me baaaack!!!!!

Monica may be a bit misunderstood or under-rated! We certainly don't hear from her enough or see/hear her receive of the much necessary kudos...I LOVE EVERYTHING she has done!!! Going waay back to the Miss Thang album with "Before You Walk out My life" "Don't Take it Personal." Not to mention the woman behind the music is so real and relateable and MISS THANG keeps her real, hood dude....that is to be appreciated lol!!! It's a treat for both of us. I love the music and she's the first girl he ever had a crush on back in the day....***so funny*** he knows the words to all her songs.....CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

TIL NEXT TIME.....XOXOXO