Halfway in and wanting out...

Going on two years!! We play tug of war, cat & mouse with each other's emotions...I know I can't handle it, im only falling in more, the distance is the enemy but he could, if he wanted to, do so much more...

Welcome to my inner thoughts, well, as they pertain to HIM anyway! This is stupid! Who allows themself to begin falling for someone 200+ miles away!?!!? BUT, when I say he's THAT GUY, he really is THAT GUY; handsome, tall (6'3"), intelligent, gainfully employed, single, no children, senses of humor, athletic...............................all but he's NOT HERE!!! WTf!

I mean I like this guy, really like this one...we have history too but something is missing! I want pampering, catering and he's just not giving that. I'm stuck between wanting to ride this out (have fun, see where it goes), just being his friend, and well, being NEITHER! When Deborah & R.L sang "We can't be friends" they were definitely singing about us. WE CAN'T! We try and we suck at it because there is something there but for the life of me, I can't figure out if he is worth finding out what that is...*sigh*. I WANT OUT!! This is way too confusing, I mean I could love him one day but I don't want to....ugh!!

I hate not getting what I want & this has definitely been a challenge: a stupid hormone filled one...Excuses my venting!!!!!