Sunday, July 25, 2010

Home alone blabbin...

My family is in Florida for a week and with no boyfriend and a slew of friends in new relationships, I'm taking in some me time! Not a bad idea, i've been looking forward to having this kind of time to myself for awhile now. At least this way I don't have the expense of a hotel. I'm enjoying space, interests, and personal "talks" with self. (NO i'm not crazy!!!!) but we all know that solitude can & will afford us the kind of clarity and peace of mind on things that other people, constant activity, and interference can't.
*Sigh* Drake's "Find Your Love" just came on...I love this song, his cd...for some reason his music reminds me of my college days, especially this song!! *smile* as I look back on memories of my journey throught that last love of mine. Everyone said there'd be a day I looked back on it and smile. I guess they were right *smile*! ANYWAYS...
This is the first time that I am the lone single chik in my circle and I wonder what that means. What is this new phase of my journey? What is God up to in me? I feel changes, maturity taking place almost daily...and maybe thats just it. Sometimes I miss the him of my most recent past, even the bad times. I miss his friendship more than any other i've said farewell to within the recent past but since that goodbye i've experienced great growth on a personal level. I'm better without my crutch (him) and I'm at a place where I can say I hope the same could be said of him.
NONETHELESS i'm still enjoying life...clubs with my girls, new restaurants every week, flirting with guys, having my pick (& most times the lack thereof) of the mens, making and enjoying $$$$$, and being me without the constant criticism of another disguised as love.
LOL!! Funny, how we always work OT to wonder whats really good with us when all the things I just named are likely precisely the reason why I am single right now. Most of my girlfriends experienced those things in college, but I didn't. I was bunned up under my boyfriend, fighting/arguing with him at a time when life was supposed to be carefree and fun!
I can dig that...I'm enjoying the hell outta it!! My college education ended a little over a year ago but we never stop learning about life. That's the beauty of this thing, this blessing!! I'm so happy and in control for the first time I own my emotions, reactions, actions, and choices. YAY me!!!

BTW, I haven't been posting often but i'm certainly making my way on the comments I see yall, keep bloggin' so I can comment!!!

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