White Collar Adonis...Mr. Bookkeeper...

LOL @ how "Mr.Bookkeeper" would make his skin crawl!! He's actually an accountant but screw that, I like Mr. Bookkeeper better. He's coming into town tonight (From NJ). This should be interesting! It's been a year since i've seen this man, but despite our daily talks, not so bleak past, and very obvious & imposing chemistry, my nerves are a jumping and my mind is a racing....honestly, I don't even know the real purpose behind this visit. He said he was coming down and I was like "OK" I mean I don't have anything else to do. I might as well host his highness this weekend.....

Anyway his visit isn't the only thing I'm unsure of; Like why is he visiting, why do we talk so much, why is he back in my life at all (question for the past year), Do I like him, why do I keep him around and him me????????? It's weird because we don't talk about this stuff. Like the huge pink elephant in the room, the mounds of chemistry, physical attraction between us just awkwardly stands around as we clumsily prance around it with normal topics of discussion of our days, work, life.....all but dating LOL!!!! We talk about everything but THAT and that i'm not too sure of either. Why is THAT?!?!? For hours on end we quiz each other about current events, we laugh, share jokes, reminsce, and talk about everything EXCEPT our interaction with the opposite sex. That both comforts me and concerns me all while I'm still wondering what the heck is it that he wants from me!

So there goes the story of my weekend...I'll be entertaining my friend/former beau/Mr.Bookkeeper. Maybe i'll finally be able to answer some of those questions....UGH, I got **butterflies** Eeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: So, Mr. Bookkeeper kept me company for most of the weekend. He arrived a little after 10pm Friday night and as he emerged from his car all the butterflies went away, my nerves calmed and for the duration of his stay, everything fell into place....so to speak. I didn't bother to quiz him on all the wonders of my mind like what we're doing, what's between us, etc, etc because I like what IS right now. I ended a long term situation FOR GOOD in February and well, it's cool to just have something with little expectations, labels, and the stressful works, i'm having fun....The distance actually helps with that too. The MAN I spent the weekend with has certainly and completely evolved from the not so grown man he was when I dated him his Senior year of college. I mean, was there anyway he wasn't winning me over, having me blush???? IDK what the cologne was but all my happy parts loved it, his height is sooo right for my 5ft 9" frame at 6ft 3inches....he's everything I didn't even realize I was missing the past three and half years; Tall, handsome, Assertive, and ladies I don't know about yall but I love a man that sort of IMPOSES traditional gender roles on me putting me in the place of the woman (the nurturer, the caterer) while he protects, provides and LEADS. He's intelligent (love a man that always has something to teach me), goal oriented it, his work ethic is SICK & at there seems to be no slowing him down on the corporate ladder. It was a sensual weekend....we lauged, flirted, blushed, kissed, hugged, spooned, talked, debated over sports, shopped a little together, cuddled and kissed & hugged some more. NOW, can you see why I didn't bother with the questions....it's fun, light and innocent right now and there is a nostalgia about that, that I can't shake and I don't wanna ruin it before it's time. He's my magnet and it's weird because when I talk to him there sort of feels like there was no in between, like, all of what happend in our lives in the past three and a half years we were apart didn't happen at all. I like this and the mystery of it all.....

In essence all the questions I really wanted answered WERE answered: The attraction, spark, fun, and interest all are still there and on top of it all he's a great friend!!! In the end that really is all I want....A great friend!!!