Thursday, September 24, 2009

African American White Collar Adonis

So when talking to my girlfriends, we almost always get on the subject of men....we're women!! Such a discussion always come around to the type of man desired by each of us and sadly, that type is almost nonexistent THE AFRICAN AMERICAN WHITE COLLAR ADONIS!!!! Where is he? I do loads of active observing, active listening and as I commute to work everyday, interract with my coworkers, travel out of the office to lunch, reflect on the demographics of my college classes, I realize that he may be more of a mythical creature than we think. One can call it what they want (Golddigger, Groupie, etc) but I know what I want, am not trying to compromise, and see nothing wrong with my chikas because they prefer a man with power, respect, intellect, influence, success, and maybe even an advanced degree or two. The numbers of professional/advanced degree holding African American women are ever increasing, but they aren't so much in regards to our African American male counterparts.....Their presence in the office is almost usually one of the blue collar service worker, support employee. Not too many of then in comprising the leadership roles in entrepreneurship, "Executive-ship", management. While I am in no way presenting an argument that there are NO African American men in the workplace in these higher positions, I am simply stating the facts....Sisters are climbing the ladder and brothers aren't leading, climbing beside us!!! Whats up with that??!!!!

I LOVE my black males; would prefer to settle down with one, build a family/life with one but I would be out of mind & oblivious to think that the odds are in my favor. They simply aren't!!! Let's start with the number one statistic. African Americans comprise roughly between 13-15% of the U.S populations with that number (whatever the exact number is) being more of a stable percentage (staying the same). Women already out number men as the givers of life. Furthermore, any college student can do a observation of his/her campus or another's campus and develop the accurate conclusion that African American males do not enter and graduate college at the same rates as African American women (try it & I promise thats the conclusion). With those factors taken into mind the number of eligible, marriagable, college educated (not even counting those that get to or have obtained an advanced/professional degree) men has just dwindled. Now take into the account sexuality (homosexuality is more prevalent than ever before), incarceration rates, the number that have a child from a previous relationship. The conclusion is simple and research back me up!!! African American women will undoubtly face choices in the dating/marriage pool that other woment DO NOT & LIKELY WILL NOT face.

Those choices are: (1.) To marry down to a man that doesn't have as much education as she, isn't as successful as she (career wise). (2.) To marry outside of her race, which isn't impossible but the reality is that Black women have not/are not at the top of the list for men of other races due to factors not their own fault such as media portrayals, stereotypes, etc. (3.) Some women will ultimately share a man by being the mistress, other woman so to speak. (4.) Some will NOT wed at all. I'm sure the list could be a little more extensive but those are just a few things that are up against the educated, goal oriented, marriage/family seeking Black woman that is seeking to marry an equally or more educated, successful, eligible Black man.

All the above factors are and should be taken into account HOWEVER we mustn't forget the doctrine of the "forbidden fruit." Some Black men will look outside their race for a mate despite the number of eligible, marriageable, intelligent, attractive Black women. Historically, this has been for a number of reasons such as other women are more submissive, white women and the forbidden fruit doctrine, and the exotic/different appeal of women of other races. All those facts mean simply one thing!!! Women of other races can and have to choose from ALL men while the same isn't necessarily true for African American women. Discouraging much, I know!!!

However, my prayer is that love will strike all...matrimony is a wonderful union!!! May all who wish to experienc it do so. Prayfully demographics are changing!!!!
I recommend Hill Harper's new book "The Conversation..."

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